


Heony, IM Right Here

by Monroha



Series: Hyungki Soulmate AU [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Hyungki if you squint, M/M, Slight Showhyuk, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 10:38:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17548088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monroha/pseuds/Monroha
Summary: How do you tell someone you're their soulmate when they hate you? Starting with your name helps.





	Heony, IM Right Here

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to my son Changkyun! And Bin even though he's not in this! - Kay

“Jooheon, can we talk?” He glanced up at the older rapper in apprehension. He knew the group of contestants didn’t really like him yet, but he was hopeful his soulmate would open up eventually. 

“I have nothing to say to you.” Changkyun sighed in defeat and went back to the other side of the practice room. For an entire week, the shorter boy had been trying to get to know his supposed soulmate. He had yet to hold a conversation that didn’t end with Jooheon telling him to leave. 

He felt a sharp pain in his left wrist, but tried to ignore it. He had gotten used to the dull ache that had appeared ever since joining the show. Interacting with Jooheon always made the pain worse.

He was too afraid to look at his mark. Too scared to see it fade every time he was partially rejected. He knew it wasn’t Jooheon’s fault. How could it be? The rapper didn’t even know Changkyun’s real name. None of the contestants had bothered to learn it after he had joined the competition. But he was nervous for Jooheon to find out and fully reject him. After seeing how beautiful he was in person, Changkyun wasn’t sure he could live knowing his soulmate didn’t want him. It was best to keep his name a secret for as long as he could. He glanced longingly over to where the rapper was laughing at one of Minhyuk’s jokes. He tried to imagine what it would be like if Jooheon laughed at something he had said. Changkyun decided he would make that a reality. He just had to make Jooheon stop hating him first.

————————————————————————————————————————

Jooheon watched IM’s back as the younger boy practically sulked away. He had no idea why he was being so rude, it was completely unlike him. Whenever he looked at IM, he found himself captivated by how gorgeous he was. But that thought always made him feel guilty, and the sense of betrayal to his soulmate had him lashing out. 

He sighed and headed over to the group of trainees currently working on choreography. He debated who the best person to talk to about this would be. Hyungwon, Kihyun and Wonho were automatically out of the question. None of them had found their soulmates and he wasn’t close enough with them to pour out his secrets. He would ask Gunhee, but Jooheon hated bringing up soulmates to his markless best friend. Yoonho and Seokwon were always an option. He didn’t feel comfortable talking to both of them and he didn’t think he’d be able to get one without the other. So it was either Shownu or Minhyuk. 

While he was having an internal debate, he realized Shownu had left the practice room. Well that made things easy. “Minhyuk, can I ask you something?” 

Minhyuk smiled at him and nodded. “Of course Jooheon. What’s up?”

He gestured for the older boy to follow him as he walked to the corner of the room. He didn’t want others, especially IM, to hear them. 

Once he deemed them far enough away, he stopped and turned to Minhyuk. “Did you... Before you met Shownu, did you ever have feelings for someone else?” 

“I did actually.” Minhyuk looked hesitant, as if he was unsure how much he wanted to share. Jooheon had a feeling he knew exactly who the older boy was talking about. “I was ready to forget about my soulmate for him.” 

“But you didn’t.” He always thought when he met his soulmate, it would be like when Minhyuk and Shownu had met. That’s what he wanted anyway. “Why?”

“Because when I met Hyunwoo, everything I felt for that other guy was just... gone.” Jooheon smiled at the dreamy look on his friend’s face. Minhyuk was definitely in love. “I didn’t want to imagine life with anyone but my soulmate.” 

“So when I meet Changkyun... the same is gonna happen for me right?” He looked at Minhyuk hopefully. He didn’t want his weird feelings for IM to mess with his soulmate. 

“That depends...” Again, Minhyuk looked like he didn’t want to reveal too much. 

“On what?”

“Some people just don’t end up with their soulmates Jooheon.” That was exactly what he didn’t want to hear. “If there’s someone you like now, there’s no harm in seeing where that goes. And if you and your soulmate are meant to be together, then this person is just someone who you got to love for a short period of time. That’s not a bad thing.”

Jooheon nodded and looked at the ground in thought. If Minhyuk was right, then there was no harm in getting to know IM. The way he was drawn to the younger boy might just be a temporary feeling. “Thanks Min, I needed that.” He smiled up at the trainee. 

Minhyuk smirked at him knowingly. “It’s IM isn’t it? I see the way you look at him.” 

He sighed before nodding. “I want to be nicer. But ever since I met him, my soulmate’s been so sad and it’s putting me on edge. It feels like I’m betraying him by even looking at IM. I don’t even know him, why do I feel like this?”

He watched Minhyuk fake pushing up invisible glasses and continue in a serious tone. “Love works in mysterious ways, young grasshopper.” 

Jooheon shoved the now laughing brunette. “I take back my thanks, you suck.” He couldn’t stop the giggles that escaped him anyway. He felt eyes on his back, and turned to see IM watching the two with a wistful expression. He averted his gaze quickly, hoping the younger boy hadn’t seen him. He vowed to get to know him better. It wasn’t the rapper’s fault he was being unfaithful.

————————————————————————————————————————

“Changkyun.” He looked up to see Kihyun staring at him from across the bedroom. They were currently the only two there, the rest of the boys had already gone back to practice. “So that is your name?” 

Changkyun had a moment of panic before he remembered they were alone and Jooheon couldn’t possibly have heard. But what if Kihyun told Jooheon already? 

“He doesn’t know. If that’s why you look all panicky.” Changkyun met his eyes briefly before he looked down at his lap. “Why haven’t you told him?”

“I can’t handle his rejection.” He heard a soft ‘oh’ and looked up to see Kihyun walking towards him. He flinched when Kihyun took his wrist and moved the light green band. Kihyun gave a small gasp at the faded mark that read _‘Jooheon Lee’_. “Please don’t tell him... I can’t...” 

He hadn’t realized he was crying until Kihyun reached up to brush away a few tears. “I would never. IM–Changkyun, you can’t live like this.” He blinked up at Kihyun in slight confusion. Since when did the older boy care about him? “You’ll lose your mark. That’s not fair to either of you.” 

So that was it. Kihyun was concerned for Jooheon, not him. He gave a bitter laugh and pulled his arm away, startling Kihyun. “You can drop the act. Jooheon will be fine. I’m not going to hurt him, even if my mark goes away. He’s better off without me.” 

Kihyun shook his head and looked like he was about to disagree, when Hyungwon and Minhyuk burst in. When Changkyun had first met the pair, he assumed they were soulmates. They were never apart for too long and always seemed to know what the other was thinking. Not to mention, Minhyuk was constantly hanging off of Hyungwon. He was shocked when he had been informed by Wonho that it was Shownu who was Minhyuk’s soulmate. 

“We interrupting something?” Minhyuk raised an eyebrow at the position the two were in. Kihyun was currently crouched in front of Changkyun, trying to get the younger boy to look at him. He quickly covered his wrist back up, but the movement seemed to draw Minhyuk’s attention. 

“What were you doing looking at his mark? YOO KIHYUN ARE YOU—“ Minhyuk was stopped by Hyungwon putting his large hand over the boy’s mouth. 

He saw the taller boy make a disgusted face before removing his hand quickly and wiping it on Minhyuk’s arm. “You’re disgusting. Also what they do is none of our business. Sorry if we did interrupt.” 

Changkyun noticed a quick look exchanged between Hyungwon and Kihyun before the vocalist stood up and glared at Minhyuk. “You interrupted nothing. We were just talking.” Minhyuk shot Hyungwon a skeptical look, only to be hit on the chest by the angry hamster-like boy in front of them. “Stop it! We really were just talking. He’s not my soulmate, get that out of your tiny brains.” 

Changkyun glanced between the three. He noticed Kihyun and Hyungwon seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes that Minhyuk was trying to decipher. Changkyun wondered briefly if Wonho had been correct when he told him Hyungwon and Kihyun hadn’t met their soulmates yet. 

He was snapped out of those thoughts by Minhyuk’s booming voice. “Whatever. We came back to get some sleep, because I am tired. You two do whatever it was you’re doing and we will be over here, sleeping.” Minhyuk dragged Hyungwon and pushed the taller onto his bunk, before crawling over him and snuggling into his chest. 

He looked up to see Kihyun smiling down at the two fondly before the older boy turned to address him. “I know you said you don’t think things will work out with Jooheon. But he’s one of the sweetest guys I know. Don’t give up before you even try okay?” 

—————————————————————————————————————————

_Lim Changkyun_

How could he have been so stupid? He stared at the computer screen in shock. IM was his soulmate. A soulmate that hadn’t bothered to tell him. But why would he? After the shit all of them had put him through? Jooheon cursed as he jumped up and raced out of his room, trying to find IM. No, Changkyun, he reminded himself. 

No wonder he had felt drawn to the young rapper when they had first met. Why did he think pushing him away was a good idea? How had he not realized how important Changkyun was? 

He finally found the younger boy sitting on the couch talking to Kihyun. Neither seemed to realize his approach, as they were deep in what looked like a heated conversation. Jooheon crept a bit closer and tried to listen to what they were saying.

“...Kyunnie this isn’t healthy! Your mark is fading, just tell him!” Jooheon squinted his eyes in confusion. What did he mean by his mark was fading? Changkyun’s mark?

“I can’t, not yet. I’m not ready for it Kihyun. I... I need more time.” Jooheon wanted nothing more than to stop the hurt he heard in his soulmate’s voice. He tried not to think about how he was the cause, but couldn’t stop guilt from washing over him.

More time. More time to what? Probably to figure out how to let Jooheon down. Why else would he have hidden his name. Jooheon spared one last glance at his soulmate before heading back to his room. He couldn’t confront Changkyun now. Not when he knew the young rapper didn’t want him. He shook his head to clear those thoughts. This was his soulmate, and one way or another he would convince Changkyun they were meant to be. He just, had a lot to make up for. 

—————————————————————————————————————————

A few weeks had passed and Changkyun had yet to take Kihyun’s advice. The group had officially been formed into Monsta X. Jooheon had slowly started to warm up to Changkyun. It seemed as though the older boy was trying to make up for all the times he brushed Changkyun away. But no matter what Jooheon did, the dull ache in his wrist remained. 

“You know, we’re in a group now and I don’t think I know you’re real name?” Changkyun’s eyes widened at Minhyuk’s inquiry. He saw the rest of the group move their gaze from the movie they were watching to land on him. “We can’t keep calling you IM, that’s silly.”

“Didn’t know you cared enough.” He couldn’t stop the retort from falling from his mouth. Changkyun instantly regretted it when he saw the hurt look on his group member’s faces. He knew they felt bad about how they had treated him, they all made sure to apologize as often as they could. But Changkyun wasn’t about to forgive them fully just yet. 

He was about to apologize and try to think of a way to get out of it, when Jooheon spoke up. “It’s Changkyun right? Lim Changkyun?” Now, all eyes shifted to the older rapper. Changkyun could only stare at him in horror. Normally Changkyun could read what the other was thinking, but suddenly it was like he had lost that ability. His soulmate’s face was a blank slate.

He felt a sharp pain in his wrist and gasped as the intensity built. This was it. What he had been so scared of. Jooheon knew his name, and had been purposefully rejecting him. This was where he told Changkyun he didn’t want him. The pain spread from his wrist, up his arm and across his chest. Changkyun grasped his wrist with his other hand in hopes of trying to get the unbearable pain to stop. 

He heard shouts around him, but they slowly started to drown out as the blood rushing in his ears grew louder. He felt his arm being pulled away from where he had been scratching at his mark unconsciously. He just needed the pain to stop. 

Changkyun was starting to grow numb to the world around him. The hands on his arm faded and the sounds grew even quieter. His head started to pound as the pain in his wrist grew even more. He thought he felt a hand cup his face and few more holding him up as his body gave out beneath him, but he couldn’t be sure. All he could feel was the burning going from his mark to his heart. This was it, he wasn’t going to make it. Suddenly, the pain stopped as he a felt brief pressure on his mark. Everything went dark as he let unconsciousness take over. 

———————————————————————————————————————

The beeping of the heart monitor was the only thing keeping Jooheon sane at the moment. He had yet to take his eyes off his soulmate since they had finally been allowed in the hospital room. He felt the comforting weight of Shownu’s arm around the back of his chair and Minhyuk’s hand on his leg. But nothing could stop the regret surrounding his thoughts. The boy in the hospital bed looked so peaceful, like he hadn’t just endured intense pain. The bandage on Changkyun’s wrist was the only reminder of what they had all witnessed. 

Since Changkyun had passed out, Jooheon had yet to feel anything from his mark. He almost wished the pain he had gotten from his soulmate would come back, at least then he would know they were still connected. He felt tears build up in his eyes, thinking he might have just lost his soulmate forever. Even if Changkyun recovered, would he want anything to do with Jooheon? The rapper couldn’t imagine so, not after everything that had happened. Why had he thought confronting him was a good idea? He was so stupid. 

“It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know.” He looked up to Kihyun, who was blurred by the tears that had finally started falling. He shook his head, of course it was his fault. When he opened his mouth to explain, all that came out was a pitiful sob. He was gently pulled off his seat and into a strong set of arms that could only belong to Wonho. He fell into the older boy and let himself be comforted. 

“Why are you crying?” Jooheon almost missed the tiny voice that came from behind him. He stopped his crying to turn sharply. He would have tripped over himself if Wonho hadn’t been holding him up. He stared in shock at Changkyun, who had sat up and was looking at him with a cute tilt of the head. He slipped out of his friend’s arms to run to his soulmate’s side. 

“Changkyun are you…” He wanted to reach out and touch the younger rapper, to reassure himself that this was real. He held himself back, deciding Changkyun might not be comfortable with that yet. He had been informed by the doctor that physical contact could end up hurting Changkyun even more. “Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Don’t try to move too much you might still be in pain or—“

He cut himself off when he felt a hand grab his own. He looked down at Changkyun’s smaller hand in his and smiled at how perfectly they fit. “I’m fine, you don’t need to worry. I just…” He seemed to trail off when he noticed the bandage on his wrist. “Do I… Is it still there? I don’t feel anything.”

Jooheon met his beautiful, dark brown eyes only to see them filled with worry. “I don’t know. When we came in it was covered. I don’t… I haven’t felt anything since you passed out.” He looked down and blinked as tears fell onto their joined hands. He figured they were Changkyun’s until a hand wiped at his cheek. He raised his head to see his soulmate looking at him in concern. 

“Well, I’m not going to look unless you want something to be there.” He heard hesitancy in Changkyun’s voice and sat on the edge of his bed, cupping the brunette’s face in his hands. 

“Of course I do, I’m so sorry if you ever felt like I didn’t. Changkyun, I’ve always loved you, I just didn’t know I was allowed to.” He leaned in and captured his soulmate’s lips in a quick, chaste kiss. He heard his friends ‘awing’ in the background, but ignored them in favour of staring at the boy in front of him. He had the most amazing smile, and Jooheon vowed to never let a day go by where he didn’t get to see it. 

“Good, because I love you too. And now I know that no matter what, you’re still going to be my soulmate. Even if our marks are gone.” He nodded and pulled back so Changkyun could unwrap his bandage. He waited with baited breath for what seemed like forever before he finally saw what was hidden beneath the white cloth. 

In faint, grey ink, the name _Jooheon Lee_ could just barely be seen. But it was still there, and Jooheon could not have been happier. He was pulled into a bone crushing hug by the smaller boy and returned it with just as much force. This time he knew he had started crying, but couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when he knew he had his soulmate. Jooheon felt a familiar flutter of happiness in his stomach, telling him their bond was still there, even if it was much fainter now. He still had so much to make up for, but he was determined to make the ink spelling out his name darken with each day. Never again would Changkyun feel like he wasn’t wanted or loved, that, Jooheon could promise.


End file.
